एक सवाल की कहानी

Maine kayi baar logon ko kehte suna hai, aur beshak aapne bhi sun hi rakkha hoga, “kaash main fir se bachcha ban paata, woh bhi kya din the yaar”. Mujhe bhi yeh khayaal itna bura nahi lagta, aakhir kaun nahi chahta aisi befikra, suljhi, sulabh zindagi. Par bachpan mein mujhse saikadon baar poochha gaya ek saawaal mujhe behad darawana lagta tha, itna ki us ek sawal ki wajah se main dubara bachcha hi nahi banana chahunga. Sawaal bhi bas ek hi tha, jo har doosare din koi na koi pooch daalta, aur mujhe badi bechaini hoti thi. Mere mohalle ke baaki bachche, aur yahan tak ki mere bhaiya bhi, is sawal ke jabarjast dhamakedaar jawaab dete the, ek se badhkar ek, par pata nahi kyon, main hamesha asmanjas mein pad jaata.

Theek se yaad nahi ki mere jeevan mein is sawaal ka pravesh kab hua, par shayad teesri ya chauthi claas mein aane ke baad logon ne poochhna shuru kar diya tha. Gharwalon ne to aisi cheezein kabhi nahi poochhi, par bahar walon ne jeena haram kar diya tha. Kahskar ghar pe papa ya mummy se milne aane waale mehmaan, bade hi khatanaak kism ke log hote the, jab koi bada baat karne ko na mile to bachchon pe dhawa bol dete the. Baatein kuchh aise shuru karte, “beta tumhara naam kya hai”, main kehta “ji chunnu”, “achchha, kaun si class mein padhte ho?”, “ji chauthi mein”. Bas itna intro kaafi hota tha, class pata chalte hi goli daag di jaati thi, “bete tum bade hokar kya ban-na chahte ho?”, itna sunte hi meri sitti-pitti gum “ji..ji..” ke aage kuchh bola hi nahi jaata. Waise yeh “ji” bolna bhi mujhe kuchh achchha nahi lagta tha, par upar se kade aadesh the ki mehmaano se baat karte waqt ji bolna jaroori hai. Aur aise aadeshon ki avhelna karna mere bas ki baat nahi thi.

Khair, mujhe yeh samajh mein nahi aata tha ki main kyun kuchh ban-na chahun, mujhe nahi pata kya ban-na hai. Par mere mohalle ke mujhse bhi piddi se bachche tadatad bol jaate “main doctor ban-na chahta hun”. Doctor??? Aakhir koi bachcha doctor kyun ban-na chahega? Baar-baar khana na khane pe bachchon ko usi ke naam se to daraya dhamkaya jaata tha, “lagta hai tujhe doctor se sui lagwaani padegi, tabhi theek se khana kahyega”. Aur to aur mere apne bhaiya bhi isme bade kushal the, kinhi karanon se woh engineer ban-na chahte the. Par main yahi soch ke santosh kar leta ki unke jitna bada hone pe mujhe bhi pata chal jayega ki main kya ban-na chahta hun. Par ek baar utsuktavas maine unse poochh hi liya, “bhaiya aap engineer ban-na chate ho yeh aapko kaise pata chala? Aur yeh engineer log karte kya hain”. Ab bhaiya bachpan se hi bade diplomatic the, badi aasaani se vaar jhel gaye aur aisa jawaab diya ki mere ek bhi sawaal ka jawaab nahi mila. “are sharma uncle hain na, jo tie laga ke kaam karne jaate hain, woh engineer hi to hain”. ab iska kya matlab hai, karte kya hain woh wahan jaake? Par itna keh ke bhaiya rafu chakkar ho gaye, aur mere sawaal dhare ke dhare reh gaye.

Main paanchvi claas mein mein pahunch gaya, fir bhi yeh pata nahi chala ki main kya ban-na chahta hun. Is beech mohalle ke doosre bachche bahut kuchh ban-ne lage the, kuchh ladkiyon ne air hostess ban-ne ka faisla kiya tha aur ladke doctor, engineer, pilot aur pata nahi kya-kya ban jaana chahte the. Kuchh ek to ravivaar ko pilot to somvaar ko doctor ban-na chahte the. Is beech yeh sawal mujhse anginat logon ne poocha, ek baar to sharma uncle ne bhi pooch liya, par main jawaab nahi de paaya. Mera man to bahut kiya uncle se poochhne ka ki aap engineer ho, aap batao kya karte ho, aur aapka chintu kya ban-na chahta hai... khair woh to engineer hi ban-na chata hoga.

Isi beech maine comic padhna shuru kar diya tha, bhaiya atthanni-chavanni mein bhaade pe leke aate the aur main bhi usi me muh maar liya karta tha. Par mummy se chhupa ke padhna padta tha, dekhe jaane pe bahut daant padti thi “padhne ka shauk hai to school ki kitabein kyun nahi padhte, yeh kya ool-jalool padhte ho”. Par mujhe isme papa ka samarthan prapt tha, ek aadh baar woh mere liye nayi comic bhi le aate the. Comic padhte samy kayi baar mujhe nagraaj ya dhruv jaisa ban-ne ka man karta, kabhi kabhaar main aisi kalpana bhi karta tha ki main in jaisa hota to kya-kya karta. Waise jo log in mahaan charitron se anjaan hain, woh maan lein ki mujhe superman ya spiderman ban-ne ka man karta tha. Par aisa kaise ho sakta tha, yeh mujhe nahi pata tha. Ab naagraj ko to Prof. nagmadi ne aisa banaya tha, main uske jaisa kaise ban sakta tha, yeh sab to sirf kahaniyan hain... yeh sab mujhe bhi pata tha. Isiliye main us ek sawal ka ab bhi koi jawaab nahi deta tha.

Fir ek din class mein Pavan sir ne wahi charcha ched di, “to tum log kya ban-na chahte ho bade hokar?”, mujhe laga pehle ki tarah 2-4 log doctor engineer bolenge aur sir ka man bhar jayega, par us din sir bhaari fursat mein the, sir ne baari-baari se sabko bolne ko keh diya aur maj par pair tike ke baith gaye. Mere to hosh hi ud gaye, main aakhri bench pe baitha hua bahgwaan se lagataar yahi prarthana kar raha tha ki kisi tarah meri baari aane se pehle ghanti baj jaye, mera dimaag tanaav se phata ja raha tha. Par bhagwaan bhi meri pariksha le raha tha, meri baari aa hi gayi. Sir ki parshnasoochak drishti mere aankhon se takrayi aur aur mere muh se anayaas hi nikal pada “nagraaj”, maine aas-paas nazar daudayi, har koi chup, sab ghoor ke meri taraf dekh rahe the, mujhe laga bach gaye. Par ye toofaan ke pehle ki shanti thi, agle hi pal log gala faad-faad ke hansne lage. Main sharam se dooba ja raha tha, kahin chhupne ka man kar raha tha, sab meri khilli uda rahe the.

Fir pavan sir dahade, aur iske falswaroop chhoti-moti hansi ke alawa har tarah ki hansi dab gayi. Aur sir mere table ki taraf badhne lage. Ab pavan sir ka mujh pe hamesha se hi prakop raha tha, woh maths padhate the jo mere bilkul palle nahi padti thi, unhe dekh ke hi meri ghiggi bandh jaati thi, mera record to itna shaandaar tha ki unki har doosri class mein mujhe murga banaya jaata tha, kabhi kabhi to woh class mein ghuste hi mujhe murga ban jaane ko keh dete the. Unhe apni oar aata dekh main upar se neeche tak kaanpne laga. Woh aaye aur apni buland aawaaz mein mujhse poochha “tum nagraaj banna chahte ho, kyun banna chahte ho?”. Ek baar to mere man mein aaya ki pooch lun, aapne vinay se to nahi poochha ki woh doctor kyun ban-na chahta hai, fir mujhse kyun pooch rahe hain? Par itni himmat to mujhme kabhi rahi hi nahi ki teacher ke aage aisa kuchh bol dun, maine chup rahne ka faisla kiya, par barbas muh se nikal gaya “mujhe achchha lagta hai”. Maine yeh kyun bola, ya us din maine jo kuchh bhi bola woh kyun bola, yeh pata nahi par iska pavan sir vichitra prabhaav hua. woh pehle to mushkurae, fir dheere se bole, “jyada comic mat padha karo”. Main kya class ke saare bachche hairaan reh gaye, na maara, na daanta, bas hans ke chhod diya. Unse aise bartaav ki kisi ne kalpana hi nahi ki hogi. Mujhe laga ho na ho, sir bhi bachpan mein aisa hi kuchh ban-na chahte honge. Khair, tabhi ghanti baji aur meri jaan mein jaan aayi, bina kuchh soche samjhe maine bag uthaya aur darwaaze ki oar daud laga di.

Mujhe laga ki yeh maala yahin dab jayega, par logon ko baat pache tab na, pehle bhaiya ko, fir mummy ko aur raat hote hote poore mohalle ko khabar ho gayi ki maine class mein kya bola. Ghar mein koi jyada kuchh nahi bola, bas papa ne thoda samjhaya ki main kaise nagraaj nahi ban sakta tha, bhaiya ne mujhe doctor ban-ne chahne ki salah di, aur mummy ne comic padhne pe pabandi laga di. Par uske baad mera ghar se nikalna muhaal ho gaya, gali mein ghoomte saare bachche mujhe nagraaj keh ke chidhate aur mujhe dekhte hi saapon jaisi aawaazein nikalne lagte. Main darke maare ghar se nikalne se pehle sau baar sochta, cricket wagaira sab chhoot gaya. Mummy kuchh lane ko kehti to aise samay pe nikalta jab gali mein kam se kam bachche hon.

Dheere-dheere maamla thanda padne laga, log mujhe nagraaj to ab bhi bolte the, par mujhe woh apna hi doosra naam lagne laga, aur ek tarah se main nagraaj ban hi gaya. Par us ek sawaal se mujhe aaj bhi utna hi dar lagta hai jitna nagraaj ban-ne se pehle lagta tha.

Mumbai: On a bouncy track

Since the onset of July, things have been really bad for Mumbaikars..... first the rains made people remember the horrors of last year (the legendary 26th july '05), then the Shivsainiks went on a rampage and now these serial bomb blasts killing more tha a hundred people (and the number's still growing). The blasts struck at a time when the rush in local trains was at its peak, when people were returning from their offices, and that makes them much more cruel and harmful. But the fact that only first class bogies were targeted is quite strange, it’s really hard to guess what kind of message these terrorists, or whoever did it, want to send. If they wanted to kill more people, why did they place the bomb in a relatively less crowded place?
Expecting any major action on Mumbai police’s part or even the Central Government’s part is worthless, what can you expect from a country which kept mum even when its parliament was attacked. And even if the people behind this massacre get caught what punishment will they get, 14 years of imprisonment at most. Is this what they deserve?? They deserve much more than this, they deserve a kind of punishment which sends out a message, that instills a fear in the hearts of those who even think of walking on the same lines as these people.

Coming to the other two tragic incidents that Mumbai faced early this month, while the heavy downpours were dealt with much more precaution by the administration, as compared to last year, even a government led by anti-Shivsena parties did little to stop them from destroying public property and disrupting harmony in the city. Over the years the sena seems to have got some kind of license to go on a rampage everytime it wishes. Be it Valentine’s Day or any other issue, they do what they want, administration seems to be completely helpless in front of them. The kind of comments and reasons you get from the leaders of this party is all so ridiculous, after the recent rampage, some sena leaders called it a strengthening act for the party, what else can be expected from a party with such leaders. Even after the Supreme Court fined them for imposing a Mumbai wide strike for unworthy reasons, they haven’t understood what a strike of this volume means to a city like Mumbai. Actually it’s not their fault, it’s the court’s fault, the amount of fine imposed is so meager that these parties and politicians hardly get concerned. The fines should actually be of the same order as losses, only then will they start thinking before they act!!

Testimonial wars

Well u may have heard of World wars and Cola wars as well, here's a new kind of war, “Testimonial war”. The battleground for these wars is Orkut, for those who are unaware of it, it is a website meant for social networking. Off late people in our insti have got bitten by the Orkut bug and a large chunk of the student population here spends at least 2 hours daily on it, figures may be as high as 10-12 hours a day for extremists.

It has many features through which you can tell people about your interests and browse their interests as well. But there’s one feature which provides you with the facility of telling your friends what you think about them- by writing testimonials for them. Of course the receptor has the right to permit or deny any particular testimonial from appearing on his page, which can be viewed by public.

Now most of the testimonials are sweet types, using all those good words for you, like you are excellent in such and such field, you are a gem of a person or the one most common among girls: “she’s a perfect combination of brain and beauty” (how phoney!!). But there are others who write sarcastic testimonials for you, using sentences with double meaning, disclosing ailing truths about you, and mocking at certain weird statements made by you accidentally or “logically” (in some cases). These are people who know you a bit too well, people from your inner circle. This is where the “Testimonial wars” originate from, I mean, it’s ok for people in a closed circle to know and laugh at certain things about you, but sharing such information in public, nah… it’s the worst thing to do, isn’t it?? When some friend of yours writes such ailing (not necessarily true always) words, it makes your blood boil, and you seek vengeance. The older way “khoon ka badla khoon se, testimonial ka badla testimonial se” seems as the best thing to do. This is when you are waist deep into a “Testimonial war”, but you don’t stop with this, you feel a new zeal to write testimonials for each one who laughed after reading your testimonial, you begin with a hit list and proceed from one friend to another, to ruin his’/her’s public image, now you are neck deep into it. And it’s not only you, all your friends are doing the same, now you all can laugh on each other, its anyway better than you being the only laughable matter, isn’t it??

And there is one unsaid rule (like that of Omerta) that sees that the war goes on, no one denies/deletes the testimonial written by others, the punishment is severe-- your scrap book will be flooded by scraps mocking at you.

I have just entered one such fierce battle recently, and am having some great time with it. It began in the usual way, someone wrote one for me and then I did the same in revenge, have just completed another one, this time a sort of sweet one, for a friend of mine “begged” me to write at least some good words for him after I wrote an excellent one for him. “yaar bandiyan kya sochengi, kuchh to izzat rakh” was his appeal….. granted.

ek kavita - meri disha

click on the image for a better, readable view.

The Guide

After a lot of discussion (and googling of course) we finalized Harishchandragarh as our trekking destination. It's a common trekking place near Mumbai and one can easily find 2-3 trekking groups there on any given Sunday, especially during this time of the year. Some websites suggested that taking a guide from the village at the base of the hill, khireswar, would be a good idea, I anyway decided against it, trek is all about adventure afterall. After a 2.5 hour long journey (by bus) from Kalyan we reached Khubi-phata, this was the place from where we had to walk about 4 kms to reach Khireswar- from where the actual trek would begin.

While on our way to Khireswar a pet bitch joined us somewhere in between, she was quite a friendly animal but somehow we felt quite irritated when she kept walking with us for more than a kilometer. I don’t find it comfortable to use "it" for animals so I've used she/her at appropriate places.
We tried to shoo her away several times by throwing pebbles at her, but she wont go back, she'd go somewhere temporarily, but return back in some time. Even when we halted in khireswar for some snacks, excellent poha and tea with high sugar content :), she accompanied us in the hotel (actually the verandah of a house), even there we tried to shoo her away but she kept running round the table and finally we gave up.
As we proceeded for the trek she kept coming with us. Now the route to the top of the mountain, where there were some ancient caves and temples, was marked on the rocks but was difficult to keep track of. This bitch really helped us by going on the right path wherever there were two or more paths to choose from.
When we reached some height we decided to have some snacks and then carry on our journey, this was a somewhat rocky patch and we barely had enough space to sit there. As soon as we opened our biscuit packets, some monkeys came out of the blue to snatch it from us, and believe me, given our position we had no way to run from there or drive the monkeys away. But again our “Guide” came to our rescue and shooed all the monkeys away. She kept barking until all the monkeys left the place, that was when we developed real likeness for her (very selfish, right?).
She went the whole distance with us, it took us around four hours to reach the peak and all the time she walked at our pace, waiting for us wherever we took a break. She even accompanied us downwards and also went with us all the way to the bus stand. All of us had the same question in our mind, does she do this on a daily basis, just for some biscuits?? Or was this an exception?? I can’t somehow agree to the biscuit theory. Do you?